I teach and practice Hot Vinyasa Yoga in a room that is usually between 90° and 100° Fahrenheit. During class today I suddenly had the urge to strip off my shirt and sweatpants, wishing I had a teeny bikini to slip into. I was steaming up, dripping sweat, and I wasn't even doing yoga; I was teaching. Obviously I kept all my clothes on but as I scanned the room midway through class, I noticed there were several men with their shirts still on. Realistically, when I'm teaching (and practicing) it's important not to be a distraction to the students and I'm thinking walking around in a bikini, no matter what my body looked like, might become a tad distracting. So I dress as sensibly as I can while making comfort my second priority, yes, second only to appropriateness. Most of the students at the studio where I work dress in typical yoga wear; shirts, sports bras, pants, shorts...usually high end stuff that covers just enough but still allows them to be comfortable in the heat. Once in a while, a woman may have something a bit skimpy on, leading to an occasional areola sighting, but for the most part they wear what's needed to survive the heat and not become too much of a distraction for wandering eyes. Most of the men wear pants or long shorts with a short sleeve shirt or are bare-chested. Just like the women, they make sensible choices for clothing, except of course when the shorts are too short and a berry inadvertently falls from the bunch. Yikes! Overall we're a pretty modest group considering how hot it gets in any given class.
So today, as the sweat trickled down my face, I actually felt sad looking at all these men drenched from head to toe, tangled up in their shirts. Am I missing something here? I know it's not inappropriate for a man to do an intense physical yoga practice in a boiling hot room with his naked chest revealed! Granted, I like men, I love the male form, and honestly, I enjoy looking at men's bods. But this aside, 'cause it's not about my needs or in any way a selfish request. In all seriousness, if you do not have boobs or a weigh-in for your next pro-wrestling match, take off your damn shirt! And no, man boobs don't count, their not really boobs, they are something but they're definitely not boobs.
I have a student who'd been coming to the classes that I teach for years. At the beginning, he would wear a long sleeve shirt and spandex shorts, yeah, now that's a good look. Suppose now is as good a time as any to say it ...people talk about camel-toe not being attractive, well gentlemen, camel-tail is not any better. If you're gonna wear spandex, please don't tuck "it", and quite frankly, spandex on a man in yoga is in fact, distracting; whether "its" tucked or not. Back to Mister Long Sleeve Spandex...I don't know what happened but eventually he started showing up to class with regular shorts and it was beautiful! However, he still had the long sleeves and I noticed that even though he practiced 6 times a week for years, he had to take child's pose a lot and he would get red in the face, guzzling loads of water throughout class. I'd say about a year ago he finally shed the sleeves and let his arms out to play. Hallelujah! His practice was definitely getting better but he was still burning up and it was effecting his ability to find new edges. After 5 years I finally approached him in the middle of a super hot class, "Hey, why don't you take your shirt off?" He responded with a laugh. That was it. Huh? What the fuck? Did he have some weird thing goin' on under there? Strange hair growth or a third nipple or maybe he wore a girdle or something to bind him in? I just didn't get it. A few days later I asked him why he wouldn't take his shirt off and he said some bullshit about it being better to practice with a shirt to hold the sweat...yea, whatever. I was determined now. There's 70 year old men with moobs, men with huge Buddha bellies and strange arrangements of thick back hair in unusual patterns, and they take their shirts off; yet this guy wouldn't budge. So much of yoga is about letting go but he wouldn't let go of his damn shirt and I couldn't let go of the idea of getting it off of him. And I tried, oh believe me. If you attended any of those classes during my mission, well, the extra push ups and 5 minute planks...I need to apologize 'cause I got a little carried away; and then we were all saved. Just before class began one evening, my friend and fellow teacher decided to stay but didn't have her yoga garb. She started practicing in a bra thing and it was just so not working. Light bulb!!! I went over to "Shirt", "Hey sorry, but is there any way Jules can borrow your shirt to practice in? She left her stuff at home?" He looked at me with a smile, "umm". Before he could even get the words out I thanked him, got the shirt and had her put it on. Yippee, yippee, yip, yip, yip. I couldn't believe it!!! He was shirtless and I could finally get back to teaching like a semi-normal person again. Oh, but wait, I had to look, I mean, come on, ya' know I had to see what he'd been hiding for all these years. Not with judgement but with curiosity, I casually glimpsed from across the room; looked okay from there. I wandered closer, hmmm, nothing unusual that was standing out. In fact, this guy not only had a great body but even his skin and hair, everything was really nice. I was kinda' shocked, maybe even a little disappointed. After the class I checked in with him and he was gleaming, he actually liked it and I remember the words he spoke,"I sorta' feel liberated". Next time he showed up, he didn't take his shirt off at first but I was more brazen now, meandering over, taking it off 1/2 way and then allowing him to finish it off. I know I may have pushed the boundaries but he's never gone back, he's the "shirtless" guy now and I swear I notice a little more joy in his eyes, a little more freedom in his body.
One of the things I wish for all the students that come to the classes I teach is for them to find that freedom in their practice. The freedom to be exactly who there are and the courage to liberate themselves from the things in life that hold them back from that. This could translate into trying a challenging inversion, coming to child's pose, staying on the mat when the urge to leave arises, or quite literally, as in this case, letting another layer fall away to reveal the light and strength that we all really are.
~ namaste
*** the thoughts and opinions expressed above are solely mine and are in no way a reflection of those who are more highly evolved
writing about my life as a yoga teacher. lessons for myself and for others, stories to laugh or cry, and life as i live, breathe, practice, and teach.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Our Spots
"Um, hey, who the fuck is in my spot?" she asked, not so much as a question but as a statement, maybe even a request. I told her there were a few spaces up front but as she walked away, I could swear I saw steam blowing out her ears and fire from her nose. She seemed to settle in but a few moments later I saw her dragging her mat to another place in the room. I carefully approached, "are you gonna be okay up here?", she shot daggers at me and said "no". She stayed there anyway for the rest of class but afterward the conversation continued as she explained her rage and discomfort at having to practice in a different "spot" than she normally does. This is yoga I'm talking about, yes, a spot in a yoga room, and as "yogic" as we may all try to be, our placement in this room can make or break our practice. This incident is not uncommon, it actually happens in silence almost daily for students who practice yoga at a crowded studio.
I'd love to be able to say that I'm immune to this issue but that'd be a big lie. There are days where its not an issue for me; where I come in, put my mat down randomly, and hardly notice who's around me or what "spot" I'm in...but they are rare. I have actually stooped so low that I've put down an extra mat to save a spot for my "pretend" friend that whoops, must have forgotten to come, just so I can have more room or be near a wall. From the very beginning space has always been an issue when I go to a yoga class. The first time I ever went, I plopped my mat down in the back corner, wanting to be surrounded by walls instead of people and wishing to remain unnoticed. It wasn't just that I was new and afraid I'd look like a complete idiotic douche-bag flailing around; it was my instinct in almost every setting I entered to be in a corner. I felt protected and prepared, able to see what was happening just in case...in case something bad was gonna' happen. I think growing up in a household which was so unpredictable that in order to survive I had to be on alert all the time, ready at any moment for the "winds" to change, provoked my need to be hyper-vigilant of my surroundings. I was always aware and ready to run and hide or to fight my hardest when needed. I know that this in part contributed to my developing anxiety and panic disorder but at the time it was just simply necessary. In the yoga room now? Probably not so vital...at all.
Yet, somehow "our spots" have become an important aspect to our experience in the studio. It seems so simple; take out your mat, put it down, and practice yoga. Oh, if only. The thing is, I'm not the only one with placement issues when it comes to space or proximity, there's a whole room of us together. Our complexity is part of what makes us need yoga, its part of what makes our community so alive and colorful. It also makes simple things a little more complicated. For me, its anxiety and an imagination that dictates where I feel comfortable. But there's a plethora of things that can effect where a student chooses to put their mat. For some, its habit. They come everyday and practice in the same spot. Eventually, it somehow becomes "theirs" and if an unknowing person should happen to set up in this "spot", oh boy, watch out! Some students will come 30 minutes early just so they can ensure they get "their spot" and when the time comes, and the door opens, its a mad dash. I've actually witnessed episodes of trampling and bumping and heated discussions when a student feels "their spot" is in danger of becoming occupied by another. What a way to start a yoga practice, om shanti, not.
There are other issues too. For those who don't have an official "spot", they still may have preferences. Some students like to practice next to a particular person, flowing together in unison, sharing energy, and exchanging friendly banter (or flirting) before and after class. Just as blissful as these people feel about practicing with someone they "like", they have the same degree of discontentment when having to be next to someone they just don't jibe with. Maybe its their energy, their inability to be aware of their own moving body parts, or their total lack of respect for another person's space. These can be annoying but some things are truly unbearable and should be avoided at all costs. The student who takes it upon themselves to reach out and touch someone, really? come on! Unless you have prior consent, mutual prior consent, keep your hands to yourself during class. I know sometimes the teacher actually asks you to reach out and touch, so fine, use your best judgement in that case, but otherwise, honestly, its just plain creepy, blahhhh. And then there's the stinkers. Okay, I have to admit that every so often I have discovered as the heat sinks in and humidity crawls up, a not so pleasing scent begins to arise out of my towel or shirt. I sniff around, desperately trying to find the source of this pungent odor, praying its anyone but me, but when all other options have been discounted and the only possibility that remains is me, I must face the truth...and with horrible shame. I usually move a little further away from anyone around me and then offer my apologies at the end of class, aware that I need to go home and either take the garment to the trash, soak it for hours in white vinegar or light a fire and just let it burn. Now I take full responsibility when my I'm at fault, not that this makes it any better for people around me but there are some folks who just seem to have lost their olfactory senses all together. They are what I refer to as "repeat offenders" and most of the students who attend classes on a regular basis have identified these stinkers and make every effort to avoid being in close proximity to them. Some have the garlic thing going on, it seeps out of every pore and its not the yummy just walked into an authentic Italian restaurant kind of smell; its more the "I've been lingering in your body for a while and now I'm rotting away and need a way out" sorta stench. There's also the "I am starving myself and have severe halitosis" smell. In this case, let's not talk; just breathe through your nose and we'll get along fine. This is pretty bad but its not the worst. There is definitely a scale here of intolerable and body odor is the number 1 offender. I'm not referring to the underarm hippie scent; no, its lower down, its between your legs, and its really not good. It's crotch rot! In severe cases, exposure to this smell can cause dizziness, nausea, dry heaving, and eventually lead to a premature emergency exit from class. Maybe its dirty or infected but seriously, when you come into a forward fold, take a whiff and if you smell a little funk, ya' might just wanna schedule an appointment with your doctor and be sure things are okay "down there". This is not just for the comfort of those around you but for your own sake and health. And by the way, though there is a slight variation in odor, both men and women can be culprits.
Finally, if its not a smell, a person, or out of habit that determines where a student puts their mat; it could be the temperature of the room, the lighting, the speakers, or the distance to an exit. Maybe its just some psychological or emotional thing. We may never know why someone chooses their "spot" but we all know that its never really "our spot" and maybe the next time you come into class, you'll decide to make this your yoga practice. Pick a spot, let it be random, let it be different, and find a way to have an awesome class. Practice with tolerance and compassion and real flexibility. And I will do my best to not only come to class with stink-free towels and clothes but I'll stop reserving that "spot" next to me for the nobody, who's never showing up...and just maybe get out of the corner.
~ the thoughts and opinions expressed above are solely mine and are in no way a reflection of those who are more highly evolved
I'd love to be able to say that I'm immune to this issue but that'd be a big lie. There are days where its not an issue for me; where I come in, put my mat down randomly, and hardly notice who's around me or what "spot" I'm in...but they are rare. I have actually stooped so low that I've put down an extra mat to save a spot for my "pretend" friend that whoops, must have forgotten to come, just so I can have more room or be near a wall. From the very beginning space has always been an issue when I go to a yoga class. The first time I ever went, I plopped my mat down in the back corner, wanting to be surrounded by walls instead of people and wishing to remain unnoticed. It wasn't just that I was new and afraid I'd look like a complete idiotic douche-bag flailing around; it was my instinct in almost every setting I entered to be in a corner. I felt protected and prepared, able to see what was happening just in case...in case something bad was gonna' happen. I think growing up in a household which was so unpredictable that in order to survive I had to be on alert all the time, ready at any moment for the "winds" to change, provoked my need to be hyper-vigilant of my surroundings. I was always aware and ready to run and hide or to fight my hardest when needed. I know that this in part contributed to my developing anxiety and panic disorder but at the time it was just simply necessary. In the yoga room now? Probably not so vital...at all.
Yet, somehow "our spots" have become an important aspect to our experience in the studio. It seems so simple; take out your mat, put it down, and practice yoga. Oh, if only. The thing is, I'm not the only one with placement issues when it comes to space or proximity, there's a whole room of us together. Our complexity is part of what makes us need yoga, its part of what makes our community so alive and colorful. It also makes simple things a little more complicated. For me, its anxiety and an imagination that dictates where I feel comfortable. But there's a plethora of things that can effect where a student chooses to put their mat. For some, its habit. They come everyday and practice in the same spot. Eventually, it somehow becomes "theirs" and if an unknowing person should happen to set up in this "spot", oh boy, watch out! Some students will come 30 minutes early just so they can ensure they get "their spot" and when the time comes, and the door opens, its a mad dash. I've actually witnessed episodes of trampling and bumping and heated discussions when a student feels "their spot" is in danger of becoming occupied by another. What a way to start a yoga practice, om shanti, not.
There are other issues too. For those who don't have an official "spot", they still may have preferences. Some students like to practice next to a particular person, flowing together in unison, sharing energy, and exchanging friendly banter (or flirting) before and after class. Just as blissful as these people feel about practicing with someone they "like", they have the same degree of discontentment when having to be next to someone they just don't jibe with. Maybe its their energy, their inability to be aware of their own moving body parts, or their total lack of respect for another person's space. These can be annoying but some things are truly unbearable and should be avoided at all costs. The student who takes it upon themselves to reach out and touch someone, really? come on! Unless you have prior consent, mutual prior consent, keep your hands to yourself during class. I know sometimes the teacher actually asks you to reach out and touch, so fine, use your best judgement in that case, but otherwise, honestly, its just plain creepy, blahhhh. And then there's the stinkers. Okay, I have to admit that every so often I have discovered as the heat sinks in and humidity crawls up, a not so pleasing scent begins to arise out of my towel or shirt. I sniff around, desperately trying to find the source of this pungent odor, praying its anyone but me, but when all other options have been discounted and the only possibility that remains is me, I must face the truth...and with horrible shame. I usually move a little further away from anyone around me and then offer my apologies at the end of class, aware that I need to go home and either take the garment to the trash, soak it for hours in white vinegar or light a fire and just let it burn. Now I take full responsibility when my I'm at fault, not that this makes it any better for people around me but there are some folks who just seem to have lost their olfactory senses all together. They are what I refer to as "repeat offenders" and most of the students who attend classes on a regular basis have identified these stinkers and make every effort to avoid being in close proximity to them. Some have the garlic thing going on, it seeps out of every pore and its not the yummy just walked into an authentic Italian restaurant kind of smell; its more the "I've been lingering in your body for a while and now I'm rotting away and need a way out" sorta stench. There's also the "I am starving myself and have severe halitosis" smell. In this case, let's not talk; just breathe through your nose and we'll get along fine. This is pretty bad but its not the worst. There is definitely a scale here of intolerable and body odor is the number 1 offender. I'm not referring to the underarm hippie scent; no, its lower down, its between your legs, and its really not good. It's crotch rot! In severe cases, exposure to this smell can cause dizziness, nausea, dry heaving, and eventually lead to a premature emergency exit from class. Maybe its dirty or infected but seriously, when you come into a forward fold, take a whiff and if you smell a little funk, ya' might just wanna schedule an appointment with your doctor and be sure things are okay "down there". This is not just for the comfort of those around you but for your own sake and health. And by the way, though there is a slight variation in odor, both men and women can be culprits.
Finally, if its not a smell, a person, or out of habit that determines where a student puts their mat; it could be the temperature of the room, the lighting, the speakers, or the distance to an exit. Maybe its just some psychological or emotional thing. We may never know why someone chooses their "spot" but we all know that its never really "our spot" and maybe the next time you come into class, you'll decide to make this your yoga practice. Pick a spot, let it be random, let it be different, and find a way to have an awesome class. Practice with tolerance and compassion and real flexibility. And I will do my best to not only come to class with stink-free towels and clothes but I'll stop reserving that "spot" next to me for the nobody, who's never showing up...and just maybe get out of the corner.
~ the thoughts and opinions expressed above are solely mine and are in no way a reflection of those who are more highly evolved
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