Our Spots

"Um, hey, who the fuck is in my spot?" she asked, not so much as a question but as a statement, maybe even a request. I told her there were a few spaces up front but as she walked away, I could swear I saw steam blowing out her ears and fire from her nose. She seemed to settle in but a few moments later I saw her dragging her mat to another place in the room. I carefully approached, "are you gonna be okay up here?", she shot daggers at me and said "no". She stayed there anyway for the rest of class but afterward the conversation continued as she explained her rage and discomfort at having to practice in a different "spot" than she normally does. This is yoga I'm talking about, yes, a spot in a yoga room, and as "yogic" as we may all try to be, our placement in this room can make or break our practice. This incident is not uncommon, it actually happens in silence almost daily for students who practice yoga at a crowded studio.
I'd love to be able to say that I'm immune to this issue but that'd be a big lie. There are days where its not an issue for me; where I come in, put my mat down randomly, and hardly notice who's around me or what "spot" I'm in...but they are rare. I have actually stooped so low that I've put down an extra mat to save a spot for my "pretend" friend that whoops, must have forgotten to come, just so I can have more room or be near a wall. From the very beginning space has always been an issue when I go to a yoga class. The first time I ever went, I plopped my mat down in the back corner, wanting to be surrounded by walls instead of people and wishing to remain unnoticed. It wasn't just that I was new and afraid I'd look like a complete idiotic douche-bag flailing around; it was my instinct in almost every setting I entered to be in a corner. I felt protected and prepared, able to see what was happening just in case...in case something bad was gonna' happen. I think growing up in a household which was so unpredictable that in order to survive I had to be on alert all the time, ready at any moment for the "winds" to change, provoked my need to be hyper-vigilant of my surroundings. I was always aware and ready to run and hide or to fight my hardest when needed. I know that this in part contributed to my developing anxiety and panic disorder but at the time it was just simply necessary. In the yoga room now? Probably not so vital...at all.
Yet, somehow "our spots" have become an important aspect to our experience in the studio. It seems so simple; take out your mat, put it down, and practice yoga. Oh, if only. The thing is, I'm not the only one with placement issues when it comes to space or proximity, there's a whole room of us together. Our complexity is part of what makes us need yoga, its part of what makes our community so alive and colorful. It also makes simple things a little more complicated. For me, its anxiety and an imagination that dictates where I feel comfortable. But there's a plethora of things that can effect where a student chooses to put their mat. For some, its habit. They come everyday and practice in the same spot. Eventually, it somehow becomes "theirs" and if an unknowing person should happen to set up in this "spot", oh boy, watch out! Some students will come 30 minutes early just so they can ensure they get "their spot" and when the time comes, and the door opens, its a mad dash. I've actually witnessed episodes of trampling and bumping and heated discussions when a student feels "their spot" is in danger of becoming occupied by another. What a way to start a yoga practice, om shanti, not.
There are other issues too. For those who don't have an official "spot", they still may have preferences. Some students like to practice next to a particular person, flowing together in unison, sharing energy, and exchanging friendly banter (or flirting) before and after class. Just as blissful as these people feel about practicing with someone they "like", they have the same degree of discontentment when having to be next to someone they just don't jibe with. Maybe its their energy, their inability to be aware of their own moving body parts, or their total lack of respect for another person's space. These can be annoying but some things are truly unbearable and should be avoided at all costs. The student who takes it upon themselves to reach out and touch someone, really? come on! Unless you have prior consent, mutual prior consent, keep your hands to yourself during class. I know sometimes the teacher actually asks you to reach out and touch, so fine, use your best judgement in that case, but otherwise, honestly, its just plain creepy, blahhhh. And then there's the stinkers. Okay, I have to admit that every so often I have discovered as the heat sinks in and humidity crawls up, a not so pleasing scent begins to arise out of my towel or shirt. I sniff around, desperately trying to find the source of this pungent odor, praying its anyone but me, but when all other options have been discounted and the only possibility that remains is me, I must face the truth...and with horrible shame. I usually move a little further away from anyone around me and then offer my apologies at the end of class, aware that I need to go home and either take the garment to the trash, soak it for hours in white vinegar or light a fire and just let it burn. Now I take full responsibility when my I'm at fault, not that this makes it any better for people around me but there are some folks who just seem to have lost their olfactory senses all together. They are what I refer to as "repeat offenders" and most of the students who attend classes on a regular basis have identified these stinkers and make every effort to avoid being in close proximity to them. Some have the garlic thing going on, it seeps out of every pore and its not the yummy just walked into an authentic Italian restaurant kind of smell; its more the "I've been lingering in your body for a while and now I'm rotting away and need a way out" sorta stench. There's also the "I am starving myself and have severe halitosis" smell. In this case, let's not talk; just breathe through your nose and we'll get along fine. This is pretty bad but its not the worst. There is definitely a scale here of intolerable and body odor is the number 1 offender. I'm not referring to the underarm hippie scent; no, its lower down, its between your legs, and its really not good. It's crotch rot! In severe cases, exposure to this smell can cause dizziness, nausea, dry heaving, and eventually lead to a premature emergency exit from class. Maybe its dirty or infected but seriously, when you come into a forward fold, take a whiff and if you smell a little funk, ya' might just wanna schedule an appointment with your doctor and be sure things are okay "down there". This is not just for the comfort of those around you but for your own sake and health. And by the way, though there is a slight variation in odor, both men and women can be culprits.
Finally, if its not a smell, a person, or out of habit that determines where a student puts their mat; it could be the temperature of the room, the lighting, the speakers, or the distance to an exit. Maybe its just some psychological or emotional thing. We may never know why someone chooses their "spot" but we all know that its never really "our spot" and maybe the next time you come into class, you'll decide to make this your yoga practice. Pick a spot, let it be random, let it be different, and find a way to have an awesome class.  Practice with tolerance and compassion and real flexibility. And I will do my best to not only come to class with stink-free towels and clothes but I'll stop reserving that "spot" next to me for the nobody, who's never showing up...and just maybe get out of the corner.

~ the thoughts and opinions expressed above are solely mine and are in no way a reflection of those who are more highly evolved